This shoot was a personal journey of finding myself. It is a mix of emotions and feelings we all have:
Knowing yourself is the best knowledge that makes you richer in any form. There was a period in my professional career where I was out running myself completely. I wanted to do the most weddings possible per year. Wanted to get appreciation by anyone. Well that period is not a period I enjoying looking back. Honestly I was a bitter and angry woman. Even when I had a lot of weddings in my agenda and a ton of publications, it was still not enough. I saw that colleagues copied my work entirely and without respect. Even using the same name I gave to a shoot. There were colleagues who wanted to work with me but for the wrong reasons. And I just continued to give and give.
That year I completely lost myself. And at the end of that year I was of course burnt down, empty and totally not in a happy mood and happy to celebrate the new year. It was time to find myself back and to care more about myself again.
So I needed to figure out how to deal with negative people. To cut them loose right away is business wise not a smart idea. And personally I was from time to time also in the denying phase. It was time to make up a plan with new goals for this bright new year and losing myself again was not happen again. It was a rough year. I knew I needed to let people go and with some give them a second chance by telling them the truth how I felt on their behavior. It has to be my year of facing the fact and come clear with myself and stand up for myself. That was really a bumpy road I needed to go through. I stopped participating on shoots that were not organized by myself. Finding new friend in the industry were I did some fun private projects with. Just for creative reasons. This was one of the best things I did and I felt it make me so much happier.
Another thing was to read a book that opened my eyes. It’s called Wabi Sabi of Agneta Nyholm Winqvist.
And this made me a much better person than I was before. Because when you’re surrounded with negativity you become a negative person yourself.
It was the year of literally turning the pages and to go for my goals, my dreams and being happy what a have achieved. That year I was working on project ME.
It feels like 2017 is becoming my year. I love weddings but I am doing only a few weddings this year. Because I want to give all my energy on those weddings and save time to have a nice and healthy social life. I still take my book everywhere I go. I read sometimes just a few lines at it makes me relax, positive but most of all peace with myself.
A few months ago I met a lady who stands before me in lane by the airport in and said to me that she was worried about her check-in in and that she was afraid that the people would interrogate her. I said: Relax nothing is going to happen stay positive and everything goes well. Shake your shoulders and be honest that you don’t know the rules over here. And then she said you’re so peaceful and positive. When it was her turn to go to the desk she looked at me and I give her a smile and there was no interrogation. When she was ready to catch her flight she thanked me.
It was a little bit strange but thought right away. Yes, I found my peace and yes I like to give another person some positivity. It feels so good and I like to do it again. I give me a feeling of being rich knowing myself.
Now I deal much better with people who gave me negative energy. I focus on the things that make me happy instead of them. Because it is not them, it is myself, who made me feel bad. They will probably never change and it also not up to me. If they happy with who they are they need to stay that way. If they not, it’s up to them to change.
Focus on yourself instead of others and make yourself rich!!